Well, here it is. The summer has unofficially come to a close. Labor Day Monday’s sun is starting to set and the school supplies section at Target has already been switched over to the Halloween section (maybe next year they’ll put out the Back to School section even before the last day of school this year!). The first day of school has finally arrived. It is a time of great emotion amongst students, parents, and also teachers. I am now entering my 21st year of teaching, which I can hardly believe. And yes, feelings of apprehension still exist!
It really seems like yesterday where those twenty plus years ago I was checking, rechecking, and rechecking again the plans I had set for my first ever day of school. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sit still, and there was no way I was going to get any sleep. I was living with my brother at his house at the time, and I wished I had spent the night at the school for fear of waking up late and rushing late to a crazed classroom. I was this paranoid.
For that first day, I had everything written down to almost the minute. Each activity that we were going to do was insanely detailed in notes I had prepared for my incoming sixth grade class. I even had notecards on what I was going to say for each activity, as if I was giving a speech! My worst nightmare was if I ran out of activities for that first day of school. Were the students going to start a mutiny? Was I going to suffer a nervous breakdown? Was the principal going to have to come in and take over? I just thought of these scenarios as I laid on my bed wide-eyed staring at the ceiling.
Waking up after a few hours of interrupted sleep, I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. I remember I wore a tie that day, and immediately caught flak from my coworkers for doing that. Noted. However, I was in the school way before anyone else was, which was about an hour and a half before the students came in. Ridiculous!
Again, I was going over my chicken scratched schedule, pacing around the room making sure everything was set where they needed to be for the umpteenth time, and then acting like I was all cool when teachers came in to wish me luck, which in reality, they probably smelled the fear in my room even before they saw me. Even my sister, who was teaching fourth grade at our school at the time, came in and looked to have a worried expression on her face when she wished me good luck and asked if I needed anything. I just wanted a fast forward button to get through the damn day. I have to say, if it wasn’t for her, I would not have been near as prepared as I actually was for that day. She was a life saver (okay, she continues to be one to this day)!
I was incessantly looking at the clock as the minutes ticked closer to when the bell would ring and the students would start to shuffle in. At 8:15 it finally rang. The students filed in and each found their desk with their name on it. I found them unusually quiet, as I knew most were friends outside of this class as they were a gifted and talented group that moved together from grade to grade. As the last student filed in, I walked in front of that class and attempted to speak. My mouth and tongue were as dry as the Mojave Desert and sounded as if I was going through puberty all over again with my voice cracking and ranging all over the place. But it finally settled.
At that moment when you are staring back at 35 pairs of eyes, it’s as if you are thrown into the raging river and you have no choice but to swim. The rest of the day, I could hardly actually remember. Which in teaching, can be a good thing as that can mean nothing horrific happened. I do know that day did go lightning quick and I didn’t even come close to getting through everything I planned. This was a huge relief! Now, I didn’t have to plan as much for day two! I lived through the first day of school as a teacher. For that, I considered it a success. Little did I know how much of a challenge the whole year would turn out to be!
That first day of school back in 2002 repeats itself year after year as far as the nerves go. Do I obsess over the plans or lose sleep like I did back then? Not even close. And, to be up front, I have a new position now where I don’t even have students for the first few weeks, much to the ire of my teacher friends! It still doesn’t change, though. Jittery nerves before anything we do for our profession is good. It means we just want to teach the students to our best abilities and hope we are doing it well.
And yes, the paranoia was real. Here are actual plans from that first day of school.
